Pianist in a Bordello by Mike Erickson

Author:Mike Erickson [Erickson, Mike]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Mike C. Erickson / Tri-Rhyme Publications
Published: 2015-09-18T04:00:00+00:00

“I still have a laughing orgasm when I think about that shot you made in the wrong team’s basket,” Judy LaTrudy said.

“A laughing what?” Amanda Kristina asked.

When I invited all my old friends to the reception, I doubted that many would show. I was pleasantly surprised when nearly every one of them turned up.

“Sorry. I’m a writer for Erofit Magazine, and every sentence we write is supposed to include something sexy. It’s started sliding into my everyday conversations.”

“I’ll play,” Sheils said. “I’ll always remember my titillating time with the Dickster.”

Lily shook her head. “I swear, Dickie, when you left Stanford and enrolled at UCLA, you raised the average IQ of both institutions.”

Amanda Kristina tried to smile, but I suspect the general laughter at the expense of her bridegroom may have embarrassed her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention for a moment.”

I looked up to the stage, where Sacatchy now stood ready to deliver his best-man toast. Though he was in formal wear and clean-shaven for maybe the first time since the early nineties, his hair was still disheveled.

“I wish I could say I was honored to serve as Richard’s best man,” he said. “I’d love to tell you he’s been my best friend since we were at Stanford together.” He paused. “Unfortunately, I barely knew the guy until he told me I could score a few free drinks if I’d put on a tux and give you this speech.” He waited for the giggles to die down. “But before I continue, we have a special presentation via satellite from the continent of Antarctica.”

The curtains behind Sacatchy were drawn back, revealing a huge screen. Aerial vistas of the Hawaiian islands filled the screen as the strains of “Aloha ‘Oe” filled the room. The footage cut to a large computer-generated map of the Pacific, and then the view swept south past Tahiti. Within seconds we were nearing the continent of Antarctica.

Another cut and there, bundled up in a parka, was Tri-Y. He seemed to be standing on an endless slab of ice, but it was hard to tell. The area behind him was covered by hundreds of penguins.

“Congratulations, Dickie and Amanda. Sorry I couldn’t be there, but my new friend Sacatchy tells me you think penguins are really cool, so we invited some to your reception.”

Two actual penguins then waddled their way out to the podium. The audience went wild with cheers and laughter. Sacatchy finally recaptured the crowd and directed everyone’s attention back to the screen.

“I’m currently very busy here in Hope’s Bay,” Tri-Y said, “studying the changing environment of the Adélie penguins—and trying to increase their political consciousness, of course.”

Six more penguins shuffled toward the podium.

“Dickie, you’re my hero,” Tri-Y said. “Someday I’ll meet you and Amanda in some remote corner of the world. I want to extend a symbolic group hug to Rita Mae, the senator, Cicely, and Amanda’s family. Party on, and don’t stop until we have world peace. Bye for now and a big thanks to Sacatchy for pulling this off.

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